Maybe one morning I’ll wake up and step outside of myself to look back at the old me lying dead among the sheets.
"I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone."

sweaty and lip-licking Jongin
are you fucking kiddin’ me? why are you testing me?
"Why? Why won’t my heart stop beating? Why won’t my lungs collapse? Why won’t my organs fail? Why am I still breathing? Why am I still alive?"
?I don’t belong here.  ?

"When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares are still walking. When we hold each other, we feel not safe, but better. ‘It’s all right,’ we whisper. ‘I’m here. I love you.’ And we say: ‘I’ll never leave you.’ For just a moment or two, the darkness doesn’t seem so bad."
"That’s what the world is , after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories."
?Haruki Murakami ?